Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
