guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
