have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
