Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
