2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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