i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize