We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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