Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
