My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
