You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
