Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
