Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
