Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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