The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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