I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
