I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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