i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
