Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
