I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He has the fingertips of a God
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
