So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
