Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
birth control should be required to get into college
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
