Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
