He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
