True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up under a house in Key West
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize