I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
