I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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