he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize