i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
