nut hugger
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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