But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
