She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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