I seem to have left my pride at pride
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
