She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
