Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
