oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
