I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
