I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
