if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
