you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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