I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
