I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
