I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
