youre lurking in front of me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
