Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
