your room smells of hookers.
And success
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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