he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
