oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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