new low.... made out with someone while peeing
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
