apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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