I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
