it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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