my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
