so that wasnt chicken after all
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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