i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're a waste of cheezeits
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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