the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize