that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
