omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
