I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
