I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize