It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
