I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
